She’s Not Going to Like This Post

Posted under Daughters, Family, Wife by Mike

  I was the lone soldier on the battlefield.  Bombs were incoming from all directions.  I searched high and low for a foxhole, a ditch, any place that would have given me some form of protection.  It was no use; I would have to surrender to the battle.

 

No, this didn’t happen overseas, or in a foreign land, I’m not lucky enough.  This happened here in my own home, my castle, my place where I reflect in the peace and calm. 

 

Yeah right!

 

I arrived home recently to what I had hoped would be a calm and relaxing evening.  My anticipation was to have a quiet evening spent with my wife and daughters.  Something that doesn’t always come to fruitarian but I am always hopeful.

 

For you see, I am still the only man within the confines of a home dominated by women.  This is where my testosterone provides me with no protection from the elements within my residence. 

 

First I was ambushed by my youngest daughter.  Out of nowhere, I was blind sided.  Wham, I was confronted by smudged mascara; red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.   It was the teenage drama of school, friends, and boyfriend problems. 

 

I was a man walking a mine field without a map.  God help me.

 

After putting out that fire I turned to find that my oldest who had issues of her own.  Too little sleep from dog sitting my ex’s puppy and staying up until dawn.  She was ready to take someone’s head off.  It wasn’t going to be mine.  I calmed her down as only an “understanding father” can.

 

Just as I thought all was finally calm and I had weathered the storms, in came my wife.  “We need to talk”.  This was not going to be pretty.  I had obviously not spent enough time with her this evening.  She was feeling a bit neglected.  My fate was a long conversation discussing our “feelings” over this.

 

Is there a conspiracy towards men?  Was there something in the water?  Had I missed the memo?  

 

Women should come with instruction manuals.  Those of us who can grow facial hair should be given lessons in living with the fairer sex. 

 

Or start equipping us with better foxholes.