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Tis The Shuffle Season
Posted under Daughters, How I See It by Mike 
This is the time of year for the hustle and bustle of families getting ready for the holidays. We are all in the middle of the chaos and the scramble to make sure all the preparations are done.
For those of us who are part of a blended family there is not only the gift exchange but also the child exchange. This is the time when the kids are shuffled from one parent’s house to the other.
My kids are teenagers and I’m a veteran of these child exchanges. My ex and I were very clear (on the divorce decree) what days the kids spent with whom during the holidays. Having in writing alleviated most arguments and made for somewhat less stressful times.
As my daughters have gotten older I’ve have had the opportunity to talk with them about the holidays. I’ve been interested in how they perceived the exchanges and what it’s like to have two Christmas celebrations.
They told me that having more than one Christmas was nice but, they would certainly give that up to have had the family together for just one celebration.
The shuffle does have its good and bad. They loved the extra presents and how as parents we would over compensate the holidays for them (our bad). The kids always felt that they needed to make each parent’s celebration unique.
That’s a lot to ask for our children. Try as we do to make their holidays feel “homey” it just isn’t the same when they know they are being shuffled.
I don’t have an answer; I don’t think there is one. Other than as a parent we do as much as we can for our children and hope that one day they will understand.
Life is not fair. Even during the holidays.
Whether or not kids have divorced parents, I think a lot more is asked of them than in the past. Gotta give them credit for being resiliant!
terri’s last blog post..Post Party Post
The deal with my ex and the kids and the holidays is a rotating swap written in stone, so that I have backup if I need it. I am usually flexible though, but like that I have something to refer to as a “law” if I need it, since he likes to take advantage and have it all. That being said, the girls have quiet holidays with me and then they go to their dad’s holiday events with 30 cousins and craziness and all that. I like mine better and it is a perk to divorcing him. That I dont have to go to those anymore! (p.s. the kids love it though)
movin’’s last blog post..Snowy birthday
I remember those days of holiday shuffling between my parents after their divorce. What I need now is a decree between grandparents and a very clear outline of who travels where, when and to see whom. It would help a lot if they are at least in the same states.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Freezing boogers…
I know many people who have this issue and consider myself very lucky not to have this added stress in my life.
Weaselmomma’s last blog post..Let it Snow?
I know this may be asking a lot, and please take this coming from someone who has never come close to divorce as a kid or an adult, but would it be possible to maybe all meet at a central location and maybe celebrate together?
I may have just asked you to shove hot needles in your eyes, but from what I’ve observed, you have a pretty decent relationship with your ex, and it might be a cool change for the kids to not have to shuffle around so much.
just my .02$
m@’s last blog post..Naked Men on the hill
Yes, it is not fair at all. I just hope my kids do better than I do, and build marriages they can keep. I could go on for an hour about this… but all I can briefly say is I empathize and agree.
tom’s last blog post..Let it Snow
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