No Time like the Present…

Posted under How I See It, Wife by Mike

 

I’ve been out of work for about a week now and my wife has been dropping subtle hints.  She’s mentioned in passing several times about how “thank God, I’m still working.”  Or “did you see the classified ads I left for you?”  Or the understated “When are you going back to work?”

 

I love my wife; she is so sympathetic and understanding to my situation…

 

So this morning out of boredom I checked my email.  Who knows maybe some long lost relative decided to grace me with their inheritance?  Nope, other than the snide remarks I got back from my “friends” concerning my last post on earthquakes, not much was there.

 

However, today on a whim I opened up my junk folder.  And there sitting before me were my dreams coming true.  My junk folder was holding a treasure trove of answers to my current economic situation.  I had emails offering me jobs, money and opportunities galore. 

 

Let’s take a look at what prospects await me:

 

ENROLL IN MEDICAL BILLING TRAINING TODAY!?

All the medical bills I’ve seen you need a PhD in mathematics for it to make sense.

 

GOOGLE BUSINESS KITS WORK FROM HOME! SEEN AND TRUSTED ON CNN!?

Well if CNN can trust them, then… Nah, I can’t trust them.

 

FIND A JOB AS A CERTIFIED NURSING ASSISTANT?

Nurses need assistants?

 

Get a great job in medical billing?

They sure are pushing this.

 

I found you a new job.?

All they left me was an email address.  Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and shame on me?

 

Cell Jobs Help Wanted-Sun, 24 May 2009 11:15:00 -0400?

Are these cell phone jobs or jobs at the jail?  And why the odd hours on todays date?

 

Jennifer: New cash flow in hours?

What kind of connection does Jennifer have to get me a cash flow so quickly? 

 

Government-Grant Source Your funds are available?

I should totally look into this one.  Hey if GM and Chrysler can get it, why can’t I?

 

Photography Schools…..Enroll Now!!?

This would be great if I didn’t keep putting my thumb on the lens every time I took a picture.

 Have you ever had a medication adversely affect you? You might be entitled to compensation.?

I’ve gotten a little nausea after taking aspirin.  I should really check the expiration dates.

 

And then there is the infamous letter coming from a representative from either an African, or East European or Asian city that seems to be having a hard time getting his funds transferred.  I’d love to help (I’m just that kind of guy) but the questions he keeps asking me are so confusing.  Bank account numbers, social security numbers, checks made out to foreign diplomats for safe keeping.  The constant emails back and forth are exhausting.

 

So there you have it.  My prospects to returning back to the workforce. 

 

Looks promising, don’t you think?