Day 44…The Rebuttal

Posted under How I See It, Wife by Mike

 

Even as I was handing her my keyboard to my blog, I knew it wasn’t a good idea.  What would she write about?  A funny story about one of her sixth grade students?  Something funny the cat did?  Maybe a bit of satire on how a beach girl had to survive college in Texas.   

 

I relinquished my blog for a day to my wife and she used it against me.  A woman who obviously doesn’t understand my current role in our family.  A family member who with his strong back and his measly $400 a week of unemployment, is still needed.

 

Yes, I have painted just about every frickin’ wall in this house of ours.  I’ve endured blue, yellow, white paint as well as spackle under my fingernails for weeks now.  I’ve moved furniture that hasn’t seen the light of day since we moved in together four years ago, to clean and paint.  Can I get a back rub tonight?

 

Yes, I cancelled the gym membership.  God forbid that I spend the hours of frustration of not landing a job by working out my toned and well trimmed body.  Stop laughing.

 

By the way, I walk the dog for coffee because yours is strong enough to burn holes in the cups.  And the newspaper I pickup does to have a classified section.  I’m just not interested in being a massage therapist or a court reporter (no offense if you do).

 

Sorry about Jury Duty, but trying to dress me up in drag and going as you was not going to fly.  No matter how pretty you thought I’d look in a pantsuit.

 

My extra time with our daughters has been very productive.  None of them has decided to get married or has ended up pregnant.  And the house is still standing.

 

In fact in the month and a half that I’ve been out of work many things have been accomplished.  I will proudly take credit for many of them. 

 

Such as:

 

• The L.A. Angels with my rooting for them nightly, are now in first place.
• I’ve been able to start to smoke my cigar inventory down to two humidors. 
• I’ve emptied all the half empty bottles of booze we had up in the cupboard.  A couple of the full ones as well.
• Not as many leftovers are left sitting in the refrigerator.
• I’ve been able to work on my tan.

 

So, honey, thanks for all your love and support.  I’ll be writing the blog from now on.

 

Love,

your husband