Christmas Card Photos

Posted under Blended Family, Daughters, Family, My Observations, Step Daughter, Wife

 

Now you understand why I’m losing my hair…

 

 

 

 

If Your Going to Get Hitched…

Posted under Blended Family, Daughters, Wife

 

I suggest doing it this way:

 

 

 

We had both been through the big wedding productions the first time.  This was our way of making it just a family affair and keep it simple.  The girls were our witnesses and we couldn’t picked a better day to say I do.

 

 

 Where else can you go from wedding ceremony to splashing in the water within a couple of hours? 

 Remember Baby, “There’s something about…”

 

If It’s Tuesday It Must Be Dad’s House.

Posted under Blended Family, My Observations

 

While reading some of my favorite blogs this weekend I came across Above Average Joe’s post from Friday.  “To The Extreme” hit me in a very personal place.  His dilemma of being a newly single parent was causing him to assess how to live life differently. 

 

Getting used to part-time parenthood is the hardest transition to make for any parent.  When having your kids’ full time and then the emptiness of a house when their gone is a truly a challenge of extremes.

 

We have children with the expectation of it being a full time job.  Your kids have that same anticipation.  Raising children can be the most difficult, frustrating, and yet fulfilling job to have.  I love my kids, yet when there was no partner (in the same house) to help me I was at times overwhelmed.  When they left to be with their mother I had that short pause of relief.  Time to myself, no interruptions, alone to do as I pleased.  This was short lived as I began to miss them and wanted involvement in their lives.  Phone calls were a poor substitute to looking into their faces and see the glow of their latest achievements. 

 

And yet we soldier on.  Determined not to be that “Disneyland Dad” who spoils our kids just because we don’t see them often enough.  Cheating on that promise when they look up at us and melt our hearts. 

 

How do we cope?  I think many of us compartmentalize our lives.  When married with kids we allow for our lives to mesh all together.  Husband, parent, partner.  They all seem to weave in and out and we make it work.  In a single parent situation you need to separate your life to survive.  Concentrate on kids when there with you.  Support them and nurture them.  Be the father figure that they can look up to. 

 

When their gone, find ways to stay in touch.  Phone calls, email, text messages, I’ve used them all to stay in their lives when I couldn’t be there in person.  But more importantly find this time to set your own goals on where you are and where you want to go.  A clean slate and a world of possibilities have opened up for you.

 

I took a couple of years after my divorce to raise my daughters.  Their mother had remarried soon after our divorce and they needed a stable home environment.  I was glad I could give that to them.  But, I eventually started to date again.  I was careful in who I would go out with.  I tried to date someone who had kids as well.  Someone who could relate to single parenthood and understood time schedules and priorities. 

 

She came into my life one day.  A random date at a wine bar (cliché) which should have only been an hour.  Three hours later we were still laughing and comparing notes on family, kids, ex’s and single parent life.  We hit it off and soon found ourselves dating exclusively.  She had a teenage daughter about the same age as my two.  One thing led to another and we were married on the beach in St. Thomas.

 

Above Average Joe, Stepping Over the Junk, Ms Single Mama and so many other single parents I’ve read about out there, my heart goes out to you.  As I told a friend of mine recently, I’m a believer in fate (God?) and that good things happen to good people.    

 

The Orange County Fair

Posted under Blended Family, Daughters

I don’t know why we do it every year.  We all know that it’s going to be the same things, with the same vendors hawking the same stuff.  The only thing different will be what will be deep fried this year.  Twinkies, Pop Tartes, Snicker bars and God only knows what else.  The new one was Frogs Legs and I’m not that brave to try. 

I think we go because as the girls get older, we find fewer things for all of us to participate in.  It always seems that we’re all going in different directions.  Except for this time of year when we all go to the OC Fair and eat junk and watch people and basically have a good time as a family. 

 

Gotta spend some time down at the farm when your at the fair.

 

 

 

 And of course you have to have the pigs at the fair.

 

 

 

Truer words were never spoken…

 

 

We’re done.  Can we go home now…..

Bras at Dinner

Posted under Blended Family, Daughters, Family, My Observations, Step Daughter, Wife

For those who may not know my situation, I live in a house of all females.  There’s my wife, three teenage daughters, female cats and Casey my female dog.  I can’t win.  As you might expect with five at the dinner table conversations can get lively.  As can be with many discussions at the table with a majority of them female, clothing becomes a major topic.  The talk will be about who at school is dressing slutty, or did they not look in the mirror before heading out the door.

 

This all brings me to the topic of this post’s title.  Sometime ago the subject of bras became open season at the dinner table.  Who’s wearing one, who’s not wearing one, is it the right size, can you see it through the blouse.  You name it and it was discussed at the table.  Now, I will admit that I try to be a progressive husband and father.  When the discussions come up I will put my two cents worth in.  However, my comments usually come with rolled eyes by the female audience.  It’s as if I was a foreigner speaking a strange language.  I’ve learned it is best not to travel in territory you have not mastered. 

Who’s Diabetic?

Posted under Blended Family, Family, My Observations, Step Daughter

You’ll notice at the top a few “ads” that float to the left when you place your mouse over them.  These aren’t really ads, more like “awareness spots” for organizations my family supports.  When I remarried a few years ago my new teenage step-daughter had been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  She is our middle child of our three daughters and is one of the reasons we support the diabetes foundations you’ll find at the top of the page. 

 

Meeting my step-daughter I had no idea she was a diabetic.  My ignorance on the subject was huge.  I thought this was a condition that disabled people, and it can if you let it.  But she is an amazing young lady who is not letting her condition slow her down.  She is an honors student in high school; she is in the drama department doing plays constantly, she dances, she sings, she drives, she argues with me.  You know all the typical teenage stuff. 

 

The only reason you’d suspect anything was different would be her insulin pump hanging off her back pocket.  The pump allows her to correct her insulin without having to give herself a shot.  That and she tests her blood several times a day to make sure her levels are correct. 

 

All my daughters are amazing in their own special ways, but my stepdaughter has definitely shown me that nothing is impossible.  Her positive attitude in spite of this constant nuisance of testing and adjusting is great to witness.  I look forward to watching her and her step-sisters as they go out into this world and conquer it in their own ways.