Half Century…Really?

Posted under Daughters, Family, How I See It, Wife

I know, many of you will look at the photos at the top of the blog and say, “There is no way Mike is turning 50 tomorrow.” and then there are a few of you, (I’m talking to you Matt) who will say, “Oh dear god, he’s not looking too good.”

Either way, being a half century has been a hell of a ride, so far.  I count my blessings every day for what I have.  A beautiful wife who puts up with my ever changing “get rich” plans.  Three gorgeous daughters who light up my life every day, even those days where I am pulling out what’s left of my hair.

Yeah, I’ve had my share of ups and downs.  A divorce, losing my dad way too soon, unemployment, a house with a couple of cats.  Nothing that most of you haven’t had to deal with in your own lives.

I’ve had a great time writing this blog.  It has given me an outlet to express my joy, pain, frustration, elation and my creativity.  I have made some great friends  that I hope to see in person some day.

So, as you enjoy this Memorial Day holiday, first please remember the reason why we celebrate it, those who have given their lives to protect our freedoms.  And second, raise a beer to the guy you’ve shared stories with for the last couple of years and know that he is at that half century mark.

….and still counting. 

      

Mother’s Day, Again…?

Posted under Daughters, Ex's, Family, How I See It, Wife

Actually, this post has been long overlooked by me.  I was doing a quick search for Mothers on my site and did not find a post concerning the day we all need to be celebrating.  As a father who blogs, (not nearly enough!) I have a great appreciation for the other sex and their contributions to raising our children.

I’ve had the opportunity to have several mother’s in my life.  Obviously my own mother, who raised a couple of sons without much training considering she was an only child.  I maybe biased, but she did a pretty good job of getting my brother and I into adulthood. 

I have also married a couple of women (not at the same time, that’d be wrong…) who have been great mothers.  My first wife, with whom I had the great pleasure of raising two beautiful daughters.  And my current wife who with her own daughter has made for an interesting “female heavy” household.   

So, let me join the chorus that all men need to be shouting.  Thank you ladies for being the mother’s that many of us dad’s would be lost without.

Happy Mother’s Day….

 

 

A Day in the Life…

Posted under Daughters, Family, How I See It, Wife, Work

 6:30 -  Awake to the sound of a shower going.  Sounds like a little rainstorm, just inside the house.  The wife is finishing up getting ready for work.  I roll over and blissfully fall back asleep. 

6:45 – The wife gently wakes me with a kiss goodbye and reminds me to have a great day.  Got to love that woman who keeps me grounded.  Got to remember her birthday this year…

7:30 – Begin to roll over in bed and contemplate the day.  Not much excitment planned for the day.  Stumble out of bed, head to the shower, inspect the soon to be 50 year old body for damage and aging.  Soak my head for 10 minutes in the shower to shake the cobwebs.

8:00 – I get dressed in shorts and a t-shirt (this is Southern California) and head out the door with the dog to meet with my Coffee Consortium at the patio of the local shopping center.  We all b.s. about the economy, jobs, money, how it was in the day, kids, grand kids (them) and drink our coffee.

9:00 – Head home with the dog after way too many stops.  This dog needs check out every damn bush!  Head upstairs and turn the computer on.

9:10  – 10:30 – Answer email, check cigar websites, update a Facebook status.  Basically goofing around for about an hour.  Then off to serious work.  The job hunt.  I’ve got about a dozen sites I check on to look for the latest in employment.  So far not much luck.

11:00 – 12:00 – Head to the gym and try to work out my frustration that finding a “friggin” job is so difficult.  Probably good for an additional couple of miles on the treadmill.

1:00 – 4:00 – Spend this time writing articles.  It is amazing what you can write about if you put the effort in.  Who knew I could write about allergies and dust mites? 

5:00 – 10:00 – Family time.  Dinner, time to talk with the wife and girls about their days of work and school.  Eventually one of the girls will ask:  

“What did you do today Dad?” 

 

 

But It’s Good For You…

Posted under How I See It, Wife

 As a man with too much time on his hands, I’ve had the opportunity to explore many things.  My wife says that’s what makes me dangerous.  She’s probably right.

Our home is subscription central.  We have more magazines lying about that I’m sure a small forest could have been saved.  My wife ends up with Redbook, Shape, Woman’s Health and numerous other ”girlie” magazines that tend to lower my testosterone.  In my spare time, which we all can agree is way too much, my curiosity had me glancing through these magazines hoping to get a glimmer into the female psyche.  Okay, stop laughing… 

You know what I found out?  According to these “highly informed” magazines, women are obsessed with losing weight and sex. 

The losing weight I can’t help with.  I’m struggling with that myself.  Being unemployed allowed me to be a “bit lazy” when it came to exercise.  Thank God my wife bought me that gym membership last week.  Now, I just need to find the gym.

According to these well informed articles, sex will do the following for you:

• Help you to lose weight, burns calories
• Reduces wrinkling
• Helps prevent heart disease
• Helps to relieve stress
• Can keep cancer away
• Good for the brain
• Good for the skin
• Good for headaches

You would think with all of these health benefits, why would any couple ever think about getting out of bed.  Hell, if we all stayed horizonal (or vertical, or upside down, or backwards) wouldn’t we all be much more healthier? 

I’m just saying…

 

ATM’s Male vs. Female

Posted under How I See It, Wife

Because we all need a laugh once in a while…

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1.. Drive up to the cash machine.
2.. Put down your car window.
3.. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4.. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5.. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6.. Put window up..
7.. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2.. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3.. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4.. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5.. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6.. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8.. Insert card.
9.. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card..
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.